Life's little lessons on humility and introspection.

By Derrick K. Baker

(Derrick K. Baker is a columnist for N'digo, a Chicago "magapaper for the urbane.")

Growing up --and even now as an adult-in-the-making -- whenever I boasted and predicted that many of the bad or less-than-desirable circumstances and happenings that afflicted others would never affect me, for I was "smarter or faster than that," my mother's cryptically obvious response of "live long enough" always resonated in the back of my cranium like a migraine headache.

Similarly, my dyed-in-the-wool old-school father has always had a humbling way of expressing his gratitude for blessings that have kept him on Earth for more than six decades.

Those are just two of the reasons I was so affected (and unnerved) when a friend electronically sent to me the following list of  "Lessons I've Learned."  Read it for yourself and immediately gain a new respect for the true meaning of adjectives and traits like "humility," "reflection" and "introspection."

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes.  After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that I don't know what I don't know.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but the best you can do.

I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important.  It's what they do about it.

I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is a first, the passion fades and there had better be something to take its place.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from  them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.  Sometimes you have to lean to forgive yourself.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.  And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.  I could change your life forever.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.  All you can do is be someone who can be loved.  The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.

I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.